Another identity crisis.
I never thought that writing can be such an identity revealing (searching?) activity.
You are what you write?
Just feeling numb and disoriented.
A professor said one day, you write to an audience. Choose your audience and then you got your writing orientation. But when the audience is a frentic mind with no interest nor being an interesting one, the retrospective reinterpretation can be a painful path to take.
So, let me retrieve myself behind my so darling defensive wall.